Teachers, Maybe You Are the Problem
“Ben, can you come down for a moment? There are some visitors here to see you.” Reluctantly, I asked for more details about them. I had an unannounced visit yesterday and didn’t appreciate another one, especially when I’m in the midst of rushing out an annual report for the company.
“I’ll just send them up to you.” I sighed. “Sure, let them come up and I’ll deal with it.” I got back to work on the annual report.
A knock on the door.
I turned around to greet the visitors and stood there confused for a moment. Standing in front of me were two young adults. One I recognized immediately, the other less so. They were former students of mine. I had taught them Biology and Chemistry at some point and today they have come to visit.
I was surprised to see them and invited them into my office. I asked many questions, trying to catch up with their lives and was surprised when I found out that Amar was in college now, on track to complete a computer science diploma and Mus, always the studious kind, has a newfound interest in blue whales surrounding Sri Lanka, which is his country of origin.
Mus, I expected. But Amar? Computer Science? No way…
Amar was the boy who had come from an upper-middle income family. Aloof throughout his time in school, he fooled around with classmates and skipped lessons when it was convenient.
Most teachers who had taught Amar would never imagine him being enrolled in Computer Science. We all grew up learning that children who misbehave in class, skip lessons and fool around will “never amount to anything in life.” Indeed, that was what we warned all of our students.
However, having met Amar, it’s obvious that life isn’t as linear and predictable as I expected. Not all students who work hard and score get good paying jobs and become successful in life (whatever success means for them). Likewise, not all “lost cases” remain lost.
Amar who was a pain to deal with in school is now doing seemingly well in college. Many of us probably thought that he would just be a bum, living off of his father’s fortunes but that was premature, if not utterly wrong. One thing’s for sure: bad behavior in school doesn’t necessarily mean bad behavior for life. However, I’m curious as to what made him change his course of behavior.
Rita Pierson in an inspiring TED talk delivered in 2013, talked about the importance of relationships in learning. Children don’t learn from people they don’t like, she said.
Every child deserves a champion, an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection, and insists that they become the best that they can possibly be. — Rita Pierson
Maybe Amar found his champion, someone who inspired him to live life differently. Regrettably, that person wasn’t me. I had allowed the cancer of learning, that is pride, to cloud my judgements and responses. I thought I knew better. I wasn’t even close.
Emily, another student of mine, lied about her age so that she could advance to Grade 10. She was one year younger than her peers and was denied advancement to the next grade despite qualifying academically.
I remember being the teacher who barred her from advancing. I did that because school policy prevented it. Why was there such a policy? Shouldn’t bright students be advanced to a class that is on par with their abilities? Why the red tape?
In Malaysia, it is normal for students who are 16 years old to be in Form 4 (equivalent to Grade 10). Thus it was made into a policy that no student can advance beyond what is allowed by their age. Was this the only reason for the policy? There was another reason given: that younger children will not be able to socially adapt and mingle among older peers and would end up being bullied.
While I seriously doubt the veracity of this argument, the decision was already made by management and all that’s left is to execute it. Thus Emily tampered with her IDs so that she could show that she is “sixteen” and got into the grade. What happened then? Did our fears come to pass: that she wouldn’t fit in socially with the older children or won’t be able to cope with the workload?
None.
Not only did she do well in high school but she went on to complete the International Baccalaureate program in another school upon graduating from our center. It was only when she had completed all these that she came back to me one day and confessed that she had lied about her age in the past.
Teachers are fallible humans with an ego, just like everyone else. And in the case where we have to make a decision which may affect the future of someone negatively, it is important for us to step back and analyze the situation with a pair of objective eyes. Better still, sleep on it and get a second opinion. Our ego isn’t worth more than a child’s future.
Ego takes everything personally. — Eckhart Tolle
Ultimately, I think every teacher should keep their egos in check and recognize that every child is looking for someone who cares for them, believes in them, will fight for and alongside them. This position is a tall order for most people, but is probably most important in teachers, apart from parents. We should forgo our egos so that more children can benefit from our care, concern and guidance.
We can all benefit from a bit of ego-check every now and then.
All names of children in this article have been changed.
Creative Lead by day, writer by night, husband and dad throughout. I write about things that interest me and lessons I’ve learnt. My views are my own. Check out other things I’ve written.
